We see many clients who greatly struggle with his or her singleness. Family & friends constantly ask if you have found someone yet. They may try to set you up with people they know, thinking that you must be miserable if you are not married. Society is preying upon the single with dating sites and matchmaker services everywhere you look. By the time someone arrives as a client, he or she is pretty much "beat up" with his or her head spinning with various info and advice. Many are feeling inferior or that something is wrong with them because they haven't found someone yet. Furthermore, we get mixed messages on how "to play the dating game" instead of listening to scripture as to how to conduct ourselves pre-marriage with honesty and integrity.
In I Corinthians 7, Paul reminds us that being single is just as important as being married. Both are lifestyles of honor. With some so consumed by finding someone to marry, he or she puts the rest of his or her life on hold. They are hesistent and even fearful to do as the Lord asks...from buying a home, starting a ministry, to settling into a career because of the risk that it might not work in or for a future relationship.
Some may choose or be called into a longer-term season of singleness and others short-term. Regardless, our relationship with Jesus needs cultivated so that He can fulfill us. If we do get married at some point, that spouse is to be a bonus to having Jesus in our lives, not to BE Jesus in our lives. Therefore, learn now how Jesus meets our every need. Learn now how to have a relationship with Him (and not just know that He is there). Paul shares that we are to be content in all things in Philippians 4.
Both Jesus and Paul demonstrated a commitment to a single life for the duration so that they were freer to live for the Lord. Jesus specifically commented on singleness in Matthew 19 as people are brought to it a variety of ways.
In Hebrews 13 we see that we are to live our lives without wanting what another has. Single people are not to envy the married and vice versa, and again we are to focus on contentment because the Lord will never leave us. So we may be by ourselves and not alone or in a crowd and not lonely.
Though you may be flooded by many thoughts and emotions regarding being single, you do NOT have a mental health disorder in being single. You are God's child, living an honorable lifestyle. Do not allow anyone to rob you of this. Remember this truth, saturate yourself with this truth, believe this truth, act on this truth and your feelings will then reflect that you are content in this honorable lifestyle for as long as you are there.
Those of you who are single, consider it a privilege...whether it be for a short or longer season. You are a treasure to God and focus on the refining that He is working in you (as He is in all of us) preparing us for the next season of our lives, a better relationship with Him and more Kingdom work.
If you are seriously struggling with your own singleness or the singleness of another please contact us at firstname.lastname@example.org. We would love to hear everyone's blog comments.